Sadly, the vast majority of us have an unhealthy relationship with money. That’s why 70% of lottery winners lose all their money within five years. That’s why I, the daughter of a billionaire, spent most of my early adulthood living in a panic over how I would survive. And it is why millions of people born into poverty can work incredibly hard and never seem to accumulate more wealth.
In my experience, the core reason most people struggle in their relationship with money is because they are disempowered in this area of their life. Many people (particularly women and children) are taught a point of view that it is inappropriate or impossible for them to control their own financial situation. This drains them of all personal power around money and creates a situation where they will never be able to fully create wealth for themselves.
Here are the three ways we allow our financial power to be taken from us:
1. Waiting to be rescued
I was surrounded by wealth in my childhood, but I was always reliant on others to give me the funds I needed and wanted. I wasn’t taught how to understand or use the power of money. Instead, I was raised with the expectation that I would marry someone wealthy; someone who would continue to take care of my financial needs.
The details of your story are probably different to mine, but the essence could be similar. Many of us are raised to believe that someone, or something, outside of ourselves is the answer to our financial well-being. For me, this involved a wealthy husband. For you it may be the dream of a big lottery or gambling win, bail-out loans from family members or the continuing juggle of credit card debt.
If your future wealth is reliant on the decisions or whims of someone or something other than yourself, then you are disempowered in your finances. It’s time to understand your financial destiny is in your hands, and yours alone.
“If you are born poor its not your mistake, But if you die poor its your mistake.” – Bill Gates
2. Handing control to others
When I was in my late twenties, I began to have money I could call my own. But, because my upbringing had disempowered me in this area of my life, I believed I was too ignorant to manage my finances. I believed I wasn’t capable or worthy of making the right decisions.
So I did what I believe many people do – I allowed other people to control my potential for wealth. In my marriage, I deferred to my husband in all financial matters, and my personal investments were left in the hands of fund managers. Sadly, I didn’t educate myself, ask questions or push back on questionable decisions. Because of this, I allowed myself to be financially abused by those who I trusted.
If you are going to create the prosperity that you deserve, you have to have oversight of what your money is doing. You have to be educated and aware of how your money is working for you, and you have to be bold enough to stand your ground if you see others making decisions that are undermining your wealth creation.
3. Forgetting that wealth is about choice
When you are financially disempowered – as many are – it is easy to feel like a victim. It can feel like your money situation controls you, not that you are in control of your money. Therefore, one of the most important factors in empowering yourself financially is to understand that wealth creation is a choice.
I recently fell in love with an antique couch and could have found the money required to buy it and refurbish it to its full, exquisite beauty. But I have chosen at this time to invest half of my income – I know that it will be best for my financial future. So, I made the choice to not buy the couch. The key thing is that I didn’t allow my emotions to control my decision, I empowered myself to make the choice that is best for me.
By the same token, I teach my clients that the first step in creating wealth is to put away 10% of your earnings. In this way, you will always feel like you have money. But making this commitment is a choice – you have to choose to put yourself first regardless of other influences that may sway your decision otherwise.
“Be aware of little expenses; a small leak will sink a great ship.” – Benjamin Franklin
When it comes to creating wealth, it doesn’t matter who your parents were or how you were raised. Neither does it matter whether others have empowered you financially, or not. All that matters is that you know you are capable, courageous and committed enough to have a prosperous and sustainable relationship with money. To know that you can empower yourself.
What if the power you have isn't reflected by your balance sheet? READ MORE HERE!
If you look to other areas of your life, you may find that every time you “Figured it out,” you were immediately met with new information that made you question what you had previously decided. Perhaps, if your logical mind could figure it out, you would already be happy with your financial situation?
If you can’t think your way into money, what can you do to change it? Luckily, you don’t have to figure it out. All that’s required is just enough smarts to ask a question.
When you ask a question, especially an open ended question, you are asking your mind and resources available to explore different possibility to what you have previously considered.
Asking questions about what you know financially not through previous learning but through awareness accesses a different part of you that thinks illogically and often contains brilliance and inspiration.
When you look within to find a different view point from which to create, you may find that there are multiple possibilities you can choose that would create a different financial situation.
One question you can start using right away is, “How can I use what I have already created to my advantage?” Ask this question without expectation of a result and ponder the possibilities. Let the question be there and if needed, go do something else.
You will find possibilities show up in surprising ways. If you desire more questions to ask, visit www.rightrichesforyou.com.
Rebecca Hulse is a best-selling author, speaker, and Right Riches for You Facilitator. You can see her upcoming Right Riches classes and other possibilities available at www.rebeccahulse.com
By Dr. Kacie Crisp
“I don’t want to be in my body!” and “I don’t want to be here!”
It’s always surprising to me how often that’s the bottom line in what’s stopping people from enjoying their bodies. This comes up in body classes so often, as well as in Right Voice for You, which I also facilitate.
It’s ironic, when the most wonderful things in the world (IMHO) involve our bodies—eating, sex, travel, just walking around on the planet in the sunshine….
One of the most wonderful ways to celebrate embodiment, for me, is to take photographs of beautiful things. I experienced this while I had a few days off between classes in the amazing city of Istanbul.
The first challenge was the timing. Photographers call the hour before and after sunrise and sunset “the magic hour.” The light is warm and rich, the shadows create wonderful patterns, and buildings, scenery, and people appear their warmest and most inviting.
My trusty iPhone informed me that sunrise yesterday was at 6:09 a.m. Ouch! I am NOT a morning person, to put it mildly. Nonetheless, I did my research. The metro didn’t start running until 6 a.m., too late for me to reach my destination in the scenic historic neighborhood of Sultanhamet. A taxi would take 15 minutes, depending on traffic. Even in Istanbul, at 6 a.m. there was not likely to be much traffic.
Once you get yourself vertical, dawn is such a beautiful time to be awake and alive. It’s quiet, the air is fresh and still, the mayhem that humans unleash upon the world with their ridiculous thoughts has yet to pollute the scene.
The pedestrian quarter of Sultanhamet, which houses such world famous, historic, and photogenic treasures as the Blue Mosque, Hagia Sophia, and Topkapi Palace, is never deserted during daylight or evening hours. At 6 a.m., it was blissfully quiet, except for a few garbage collectors, another intrepid photographer or two, and me.
What a great opportunity to photograph these landmarks without having to dodge hordes of folks, to say nothing of the joy of avoiding having them spoiling my pictures!
Taking photographs requires intense multi-sensory awareness. It’s like walking alone in the city at night—all your senses are heightened. Happily, when photographing, it’s awareness of beauty and light, not danger.
Photography, of course, means “drawing with light.” Not only does light make photography possible, but the angle, amount, quality, and direction of light make a huge impact on what the final image looks like. If you’ve watched a physical sunrise lately, you know that the sun’s appearance is a very quick move. Photographing in this setting, with a scant magic hour to capture everything in all directions required an awareness of everything around me to a degree I definitely don’t practice in daily life. How could I be more alive in this instant?
Initially, I envisioned getting a picture of the Blue Mosque silhouetted as the sun made that speedy appearance. This of course would involve having the Blue Mosque between me and the sun, as well as finding a vantage point from which I could catch as much of it as possible in the crowded Istanbul skyline.
In contrast to that, I wanted to catch the Blue Mosque and neighboring Hagia Sophia, a stunning cathedral/mosque/turned museum that’s a mere 1400 years old, in that glowing warm light of dawn—which required my being between them and the sun. These two positions are perhaps a mile apart.
These are huge buildings, separated by the equivalent of several good-sized city blocks, and I am not a jogger. Talk about a possibility to live in the question! What shall I choose? Should I linger on the sunny side, giving up my internal picture of the silhouetted Blue Mosque? Or should I go for it, walking close to a mile around the massive Blue Mosque with its surrounding courtyard and gardens, hoping to catch my mental image on my camera’s memory card?
In the end, I decided to go for it, as I’d already captured plenty (more than dozens) of photographs of the Blue Mosque and Hagia Sophia in the glowing light. Orange feral cats greeted me as I made tracks around the Blue Mosque walls.
Unfortunately for me as a photographer, the Blue Mosque stands in the middle of a city that’s millennia old. It’s surrounded by haphazard and not necessarily photogenic structures that obscure its silhouette. I passed some traditional wooden Istanbul houses, restored to their colorful former glory and advertising their tenants’ political agendas, as well as some stunning tulips. The stunning silhouette I imagined, however, escaped me. All I could manage was a lone minaret, buttressed by more modern buildings. I took a shot that was the best I could muster, then made a new choice.
I could do some more research for my next photo excursion, perhaps checking out some drone’s eye views of the area, but it seemed I was on a futile quest for the photo of my mind’s eye. In the end I did the best I could, but it seemed I would have blocks and blocks and blocks more to walk before I could get the angle I pictured, and there was no guarantee I’d even succeed.
Living in 10 second increments, I turned around to check out developments in the main open and more photogenic area. It was starting to get populated by this time; the moment to capture these magnificent monuments in their deserted glory had already passed.
Though an ambitious would-be tourist guide informed me that the Blue Mosque did not open until 8:30, hours in the future, the gates of the mosque were open to the courtyard. I wandered in to see what I could see and photograph.
What a delightful serendipitous choice this was! The mosque was as beautiful close up in the morning light as it had been from a distance. The courtyard was carpeted with lush green lawns, sprinkled with an abundant display of white tulips. The occasional deviant yellow or red tulip popped up its head, making the misfit in me smile.
I saw an old man wearing a traditional looking cap, sitting in front of rows of faucets to be used for the Muslim tradition of ablution before entering the mosque. What a stunning timeless photographic opportunity it appeared—until I noticed what he was so studiously looking down at. Somehow the smart phone just didn’t fit in the image I wished to create.
By the time I made it back to the main square, it was no longer unpopulated. Vendors were setting up their carts on wheels, packed to the top with delicious smelling pretzels and baked goods of all kinds. Eating is definitely one of those body things that we just couldn’t do without a body.
I refrained these baked goods because I knew an even better choice—Rugelah, home of the world’s very best baklava, baked by an old Macedonian couple, is just a few blocks away from the historic area where I was photographing.
Though the bazaar and mosque would not be open for hours, this bakery would be. From previous visits, I know this couple bakes up a storm from incredibly early morning hours, and when they sell out, the bakery closes, whether it’s 10 a.m. or noon. Whereas an American business person might suggest longer hours so they could sell more of their wonderful goods and make more money, that’s not the way it’s done here.
No baklava today! Tomorrow is one of the few English words in their vocabulary, sadly for me. I had to make do with what they had. Steaming buns filled with cheese took “fresh out of the oven” to a new level. The buns burned my hands as well as my mouth, and when I bit into the cheese in the middle, steam escaped. After that and a coconut cake, I was quite stuffed, but my hostess insisted I try yet another baked treasure. The whole venture cost me less than $2 U.S.
So grateful for my body, which allows me to enjoy all of these pleasures and treasures! How did I get so lucky as to be alive right now?
by Connor Hill, CHCR Facilitator
If you saw the movie Avatar, you might remember how the indigenous people were in communion with the animals on Pandora. Though we don’t have the same physical neural-connection pathway with animals that the Na’vi do, we can still energetically create a similar communion and discover more about ourselves in the process.
The first time I was invited to connect with a horse in this way was through Access Consciousness. Before coming to Access, I had little to no experience with horses. My first "real" rides were at a 7-Day event in Costa Rica, where for the first time I was able to let loose on a horse, kicking into full cantor during tropical downpours.
As I’ve continued to ride and explore my communion with these animals, they’ve helped me find the specialness of me by uncovering my capacities with animals, never judging me, and showing me how to be me.
Are You Acknowledging Your Capacities?
Before I began working closely with horses, I didn’t know that I had a capacity to communicate with animals. Those rides in Costa Rica were the first time anyone acknowledged that I have a different way of communicating with animals, which allowed me to acknowledge it too. What is this capacity? Horses and I share the ability to "hear" one another from a different space—beyond body language, beyond sensorial cues, and beyond words. In acknowledging our capacities and communion, a greater space of contribution opens up, and I can receive more from them.
Are you Functioning from No Judgment?
As I opened to receive more from horses and spent more time with them, the more I could see that they don’t judge me or buy into any of my bullshit. They don’t sugar coat things and can’t be manipulated by the feelings that I create to control others. They show me how to be in a space of complete allowance—no judgment—for me and for them. I find it’s in that space of allowance that I can best access the specialness of me.
Are You Willing to BE?
I learned early on that horses provided a mirror for who I was being. What do I mean by this? When I'm not being me they don't tell me I'm wrong for not being me or look at me funny, they just don't come near me. If I’m not willing to receive, if I’m not totally vulnerable as and with me, and if I’m not being true to me, they don’t care to stand next to me.
So then I have to ask, "Ok, who or what can I be?" I have to be something different: the difference I truly be when I am me. This isn’t a “me” that is defined, it’s the unfolding undefined being that I truly be.
As Gary Douglas, the founder of Access Consciousness and Conscious Horse Conscious Rider says: "Be willing to be the animal that is not the animal that allows the animal to realize that there is a different possibility."
Through helping me acknowledge my capacities, in their space of non-judgment, and by providing a mirror to when I’m being me, horses are constantly showing me more of the specialness of me.
What might you learn about the specialness of being you from interacting with horses? Find out more of the possibilities with this recent event from Conscious Horse Conscious Rider, part of the Specialness of You event. [link]
By Armina Bridgeman
Conscious Horse Conscious Rider is a specialty class for everyone and all beings big and small. I have been facilitating this clinic for a year now and the magic that the horses be and invite us to choose, is phenomenal. The change that is created in the people and animals in these two short days has changed my reality so much beyond anything I could have imagined.
I have had the joy of having all kinds of people take this clinic: all ages and abilities, horse people and non-horse people. There are no prerequisites for this clinic so there are also people who have never heard of Access Consciousness or the tools that are used in Conscious Horse Conscious Rider (CHCR) prior to coming to a class.
Last year I had the privilege to have an eight-year-old autistic child named Emily in a CHCR clinic I ran in Cormac, Ontario. Emily was staying at Foymount Farms with my host Sue, and although Emily did not participate in the entire clinic she did participate in the part where we ran Access Consciousness Body Processes and energy on the horses. For me, it was amazing to witness the level of energetic communication that took place between Emily and the horses, how quickly they got each other and the ease with which they received from each other while running energy.
It was also interesting for me to perceive the ease that Emily and I were able to communicate with each other energetically. During the clinic, we do an exercise where we ask the horse: “If I get on you, will you take care of me?” and before I could even ask Emily to ask the question of her horse, she and her horse Jack were already in the energy, and I became aware Jack was taking care of Emily from the moment she went out to the pasture to catch him.
Another exercise we do during the clinic is to lay back on the horse bareback and perceive the energy of the horses having your back and being willing to take care of you. When it came time for Emily to do this exercise it was so cool to see how much Jack had her back and how much they were trusting each other through the exercise. There was a sense of peace and calm between them that changed everyone that witnessed this. What if we were willing to have our own backs and to trust our owning knowing the same as a horse does? Emily was also able to energetically ask Jack to move and turn where she wanted him to go – without speaking a single word out loud.
So often these beautiful children are diagnosed or labelled with a disability when in actuality they have an ability that is beyond what this reality defines as “normal”. I have heard Gary Douglas, the founder of Access Consciousness, talk about autistic children and the gift they be to this planet and how they are here to create a new reality with the difference they be and function from. When an autistic child rides a horse, they are able to be peaceful and calm because horses have no barriers, points of view, or judgment about ability / disability and are a space for autistic children to function from everything they are that has never been acknowledged.
One of the many gifts of being with horses is they will not judge you or invalidate you, they will acknowledge you, and demand that you be you beyond the projections and judgments that you may have had delivered at you, or bought into about you. When kids (and adults) labelled with autism and other perceived ‘disabilities’ are received without barriers, like a horse does, something greater than what we have decided is possible can show up.
What is truly possible when you are willing to receive another being with no judgment, no sense of wrongness or inability? What is truly possible when you are willing to receive you with no judgment, wrongness or inability? What capacities might you discover?
7/17/2017 0 Comments
Ask yourself: How valuable is your life? Do you wish to live it fully or are you content to live circumscribed by the roles assigned to you by those around you? Is living by others’ definitions and expectations really living—or is it a slow death by obligation and self-negation?
You were born with unique talents, abilities, and contributions to make. The world will only receive these gifts if you are willing to show up as "you" and share them. What gifts, capacities, and talents might you have that you have never acknowledged or shared? How would your world change if you were willing to share them?
It starts with an honest appraisal and acknowledgment that you may have given yourself up in your relationship and put the needs of others first.As a relationship coach, I ask my students:
When you don’t allow yourself to show up fully in your relationship, you are depriving your partner of the greater you they fell in love with in the first place.
To redirect people who are denying themselves, I try to help them tune into the energy of how it feels when their choices or desires are ignored or overruled.What did it feel like the last time this happened? Does the energy feel light or does it feel expansive or contracted, dense, heavy, or dreadful?
You may not typically pay attention to your energy, but it’s actually our first language. Energy tells a much more accurate story than words and is harder to make excuses for.
If the energy does not generate a positive feeling, ask yourself what else is possible. If you made a different choice, would that energy change?
What if one of the most potent and dynamic choices you could make would be to show up in your own life, fully being yourself, with your wonderful gifts, quirks, imperfections, and all?
If you'd like to change what's happening in your relationship, minimize judgment of yourself and your partner. When you eliminate judgment, you have different choices. You can look at actions and choices that you’ve made and understand that they were not necessarily either "right" or "wrong" but the best choice available to you at the time.
It’s not about comparing yourself to anyone else or evaluating your performance in any way. It’s truly about celebrating the magnificence that you are when you make the choice to show up and express who you really are.
Making the choice to fully show up in your own life tends to create changes in a number of areas that might well surprise you. Who knows what magic will manifest itself if you chose to really show up in your life? Now is the time.
By: Julie O Perkins, CF, RBFY Taster Facilitator
It’s summertime – full of fun and play! My favorite summer past times are swimming in outdoor pools or mountain lakes – hiking in the woods – and camping under the stars. My body lights up doing these things – they’re very special to me.
These playful things stopped after I graduated college and got my first “real” full-time job. I distinctly remember pressing my nose to the glass of my tiny office window that first summer, yearning to be outside either lifeguarding (my usual summer job) or quieting my mind out in nature somewhere. My body was not happy sitting at a desk indoors. I tried to appease it by getting a second part-time job as the evening manager at a local outdoor pool – yet after a few weeks, it just felt like I was “working” all the time.
My body was tired. Plus it began to get sick a lot. For the next couple of decades, it worked hard as a business owner, household manager and mom. In my early 40’s, I was diagnosed with breast cancer, then severe adrenal fatigue, both of which had me bedridden and withdrawn from my family and my life. During treatments and recovery, I heard basically the same thing from my doctors and healing practitioners: “You’re so aware and in touch with your body. It shows by the way you describe what’s going on.”
Huh? I wasn’t perceiving that at ALL. I only felt a HUGE disconnect from my body.
Then I found Access Consciousness. One of the greatest gifts of Access to me personally is Right Body for You, the “body of work” (pun intended) led by the ever cheerful, dynamic and potent Donnielle Carter. She invited me to dive deeper into this “work” (that was actually PLAY) and acknowledge that I DID actually KNOW what was going on with my body. From there, Right Body for You literally showed me how to change and heal my weary body! Because of it, I was coming ALIVE instead of the slow decay that “working hard” was creating.
I’ve been asked what is so special about Right Body for You – here are my top 3 things:
1. Enhanced Communication with my Body: I no longer ignore or avoid the whispers of wisdom that my body is gifting me. Waiting for things to get dire, is no longer required, for me to effectively communicate with my body!
2. Greater Communion with my Body and the Earth: Right Body for You showed me how to create an intimate rapport – or communion – with my body that I know shares a unique healing connection with the Earth. By asking for and receiving that greater communion, I’ve experienced everything from instant relief of chronic body pain to the dissipation and changing of decades-old, surgical scars.
3. Exponentialized Awareness of – with – for – and through my Body: I now know how to create with my body, for the things that it desires and requires (like great clothes and the money for them!) – how to “fuel” my body (with everything from tasty food to rejuvenating walks on the beach!) – and how to facilitate FAST change in my body, most often by simply acknowledging its capacities for transformation and healing.
This list could go on and on, since so many topics are discussed in the Right Body for You tasters and classes. ANYTHING related to bodies (body image, sex, money, relationship, food, etc) can be explored, making each class specifically tailored for – and especially special to – each body and infinite being who chooses to attend.
The joy of embodiment – the fun and play of truly living – plus the infinite possibilities that are available from those energies, are the amazing gifts of Right Body for You, that make it so special to me. I wonder how it could be special to you?
Visit www.RightBodyforYou.com find out more about Right Body for You.
Meet Julie O
Since her first trip abroad in 1980 as an exchange student, Julie Oreson Perkins has been engaging in life-changing conversations (in several languages, including the language of energy!) As a coach, teacher, motivational speaker, radio show host, international best-selling author, energy worker/healer, breast cancer sur-thriver and shamanic practitioner, Julie O invites the (re)birth of our innate awareness and healing capacities – and instills a lust for living on Planet Earth here and now. Visit her online at www.JulieOPerkins.com.
How much fun can you have learning the language of your body?
Want to know more about communicating with your body? Check out www.RightBodyforYou.com for tips and to find classes in your area.
Obsessive Compulsive Disorder in this reality is a diagnosis that describes recurrent and persistent thought patterns, emotions and behaviors. These are ritualistic and cause enough distress that they interfere with daily life.
Obsessive (all consuming)
In this reality it can show up like the obsessive repetition of movement or thoughts or having to obsessively having all clear up all mess, or having to have everything so perfect, or having to line objects up…
So what does Access Consciousness X-Men say about OCD?
OCD is the ability to perceive, know, be, and receive everything around you from 800-8,000 miles in all directions.
Just stop there .. 800- 8000 miles in all directions ??
What does that look like ? Have a look at photo below ?
The distance from LONDON to EASTER Island in Chile is 8000 miles.
Now visualize that in all directions .You are actually aware of what is a GREAT BIG circle around most of the globe. You are aware of every thought feeling & emotion in that zone. Is it no wonder that Gary Douglas and Dain Heer continually ask us to use the access tool WHO DOES IT BELONG TO? constantly for 3 days .
Do you know this tool?
Read more about Who Does It Belong To? on this PDF HERE or use the app we've developed on your phone HERE.
It is a simple way to really get aware of who and what you actually are aware of !!!
Access says OCD is actually OCC (obsessive compulsive creator), because you are constantly in obsessive-compulsive creation. If you don’t have enough going on in your life, you make yourself OCCC (obsessive compulsive creator of crap).
These are tremendous abilities, because you can accomplish so much in so little time. The thing about OCD is that you pick up everybody’s thoughts, feelings, and emotions. If you go into the wrongness of you, you become compulsive about that. For me it was washing and drying my hair 3 times a day , the only way i knew to get the ‘dirty feeling from my head’ . for others it can be lining things up or counting.
In actual fact , OCD is an ability. It is not only the ability to multitask, but also the ability to increase everything that’s going on. If you can tap into the thoughts, feelings, and emotions of people, could you also tap into their energies, and to what they know about completing or creating? That’s where you’ve got to start using that OCD capacity, rather than seeing it as a wrongness. How do you use this to create something greater for you?
Diva says When I need information, I go, “Who knows about this and can I have it please?” All of a sudden I have all kinds of information about something I know nothing about.
This is a just a brief glimpse into the world of OCD and X-Men. For more information you can join an X-Men intro class / telecall or live class or live stream class
What do you know about X-Men you may have never acknowledged?
We all want our children to feel the pleasure of success, and it can be heartbreaking to watch your child attempt something and not live up to their own expectations (and sometimes ours too). Failure doesn’t feel great, most of us will agree.
But what if we told you that setting them up to fail isn’t so bad after all?
We recently caught up with Sylvia Puentes, who runs workshops around the world called Right Voice For You, and has 17 years experience working in various areas of education. She explained how we can empower our children to make good decisions through teaching them how to fail.
Why should we let our children fail? “With so many virtual experiences today, many kids do not see the impact their choice will have in the short and long term,” Sylvia told kidspot.
Sylvia goes on to explain that there are many children living with stress and a fear of failing.
“There are many youth committing suicide due to judgements and expectations they have not been able to meet,” she said.
Sylvia explained that a child that is given the chance to take risks and allowed to fail without the fear that failure is wrong, can become our next great scientists, explorers or artists.
How can we let our child fail? Allowing them to fail is far from just letting them do whatever they like, and there will still be times when it is necessary to step in and protect them from failure or harm.
Sylvia suggests we start with asking our child questions at a very young age.
“When someone is truly asked a question, with no projections of what the right answer should be, it invites them to pause and look at the situation before making that choice.”
So by asking a question, we can prompt our child to consider the consequences of their decision.
Here’s an example.
You are taking part in the daily homework battle. You know the one, where you’re wailing, “we could have been finished by now”? You might even be bargaining that they can finish their reader before bedtime, as long as they “JUST GO THROUGH FIVE SIGHT WORDS!!”
This is where Sylvia’s questions come into play.
“If you don’t do your homework, what consequences will that create?”
“If you do your homework, what will that create?”
So rather than being the authoritative parent that often comes naturally, asking questions can sometimes help your child guide themselves to the right decision.
And ask yourself if it really would be such a bad thing for them to experience the consequences of not completing their homework.
A successful entrepreneur was encouraged to fail every day.
Sylvia shared the story of a woman who was asked by her father at the dinner table every night, “what did you fail at today?”
“They created a new culture at home, where the stories and the celebrations were about the failures you’d had in the day,” said Sylvia.
“For this family, it was about what else can I try, what else can I choose, what else can I create that has not been created.
“Her success and her joy of trying things, having something not work and trying something new is what has made her successful,” Sylvia said.
Little steps: It’s not about withdrawing completely and letting your child run amok, and this technique still requires the usual level of parenting. But perhaps the next time you see your child on the path to failure, consider what they stand to learn from the situation.
Ask them a question. See if they can describe the consequences of their decisions. And remind them that failing isn’t such a bad thing. It’s how they adapt and respond that really matters.
The only trouble with this is that creating wealth has nothing to do with logic. Think about it; if logic was the answer to our financial well-being, wouldn’t we have created solutions to all our money problems by now?
No, the realm of wealth creation is not logical. In fact, creating the right riches for you can often feel as fantastical as a trip into the Land of Oz.
Along the yellow brick road
As with many facets of modern life, wealth creation has become a very external process. We have come to believe that the answers to financial freedom lie outside of us; that the key to wealth waits for us at the end of that Yellow Brick Road. Some chase fool-proof get rich schemes. Some dream of a far-off inheritance or a lottery win. Many, many more give all of their power away and rely on others – spouses, family members or financial experts – to make the right financial choices for them.
We all have a desire – a great property portfolio, a thriving business, a huge nest-egg, (a heart, a brain, courage!) – and too many of us are waiting for some magical Wizard to gift it to us. But as Dorothy and her friends discovered, relying on someone or something out there to bring you what you need will only lead to disappointment.
I always say, the only thing stopping you from having financial freedom is your relationshipwith money. It doesn’t matter who you are or what your background is, you have the ability to create the wealth you desire. The key to financial freedom is already within you.
As Glynda explained to Dorothy – you’ve always had the power, you just have to learn it for yourself.
Are you willing?
The only thing stopping you from creating financial freedom is the willingness to accept that your financial freedom is not anybody else’s responsibility. It all comes down to you.
Are you willing to be honest?
The most important, and often the hardest, step toward wealth creation is finding the grace and courage to be brutally honest with yourself. Are you willing to acknowledge everything that is true about yourself? Not everybody can. Start by truthfully acknowledging your beliefs around money. Look honestly at your habits and behaviours. Vitally, learn to be honest with yourself about your fears and self-imposed limitations.
Are you willing to put yourself first?
Where do you sit on your priority list? Unless and until you are the most important person in your world, you will continue to make decisions that are detrimental to your financial wellbeing. This includes the ability to value yourself enough, that you are willing to say “no” to yourself in times of impulse spending. And remember, honouring yourself first is the best way to be in a position to support others.
Are you willing to not have the answers?
Our modern society is obsessed with logic but, as I mentioned above, logic is not the key to creating the right riches for you. Are you willing to be illogical? Are you willing to perceive that there are financial possibilities that you have not yet thought of? When it comes to creating greater wealth, it is difficult to overstate the power of a question. Asking questions opens your mind to new (and often illogical) possibilities and solutions. It allows us to step out of the limits of what we already believe to be true, and opens our eyes to completely new avenues for growth and prosperity. The key is to ask the question – What am I not getting about this situation? How can I create extra income now? What will this decision ultimately create for me? – but not look for the answer. Instead, let your natural sixth sense guide you toward the best decisions and actions.
Are you willing to create more wealth than you believe possible?
A vital part of being honest with yourself, is to acknowledge the financial limits you have imposed upon yourself or (more accurately) adopted as your own from your parents, family and community. Are you actually willing to be incredibly wealthy? Or does this trigger a point of view in you about wealth, worthiness or fairness? It is possible for you to make decisions that can create great wealth – but you first have to be willing to be that wealthy.
Despite what you have probably been taught to believe, there is nothing out there that can bring you lasting wealth if you don’t have a healthy relationship with money, and with yourself. The power to create the right riches for you lies within you. Being willing to acknowledge this truth and accept this responsibility, is the first important step in creating financial freedom.