— Arlene Schmidek
I have been around horses all my life. I started to ride when I was three years old and shortly after that I started competing with horses. I didn’t see it as competing then. I saw it more as being with my horse and seeing what we could create together.
I couldn’t wait to get home from school to go be with my horse. No matter what was going on in my life whether it was a good day or a day I was pissed at the world, I have always felt like I could be totally me with horses.
For the longest time, I loved seeing what my horse and I could create by being together.
From how fast we could race around the barrels, to how close we could get to the poles without knocking them over to how quick we could go in and out of the keyhole without stepping on the white chalk.
There was so much joy and ease I felt in my body and the fun I had with my horse whether we were racing down the track or being in nature walking through the fields or the mountains.
There was a connection we had with the Earth and a sense there was not a care in the world.It wasn’t about anyone else. It wasn’t about competing or winning. It was just me and my horse.
As the years went on, something shifted in me the more I competed and the more I won the trophies, ribbons and money. Being with my horse shifted to “doing” with my horse as the competition, the judgements and the projections took over. It wasn’t about what my horse and I could create by being together anymore. It was about what we could create by doing together.
The significance of doing took over my joy and ease. The more I engaged in competition, the more judgemental I became of myself and my horse. Always questioning my knowing and awareness I had from being with my horse and buying into the projections and conclusions of the industry.The conversations became about what I have to do or should do to my horse or myself to win more. Did I have the right feed or supplements? Did I have the right bridle and bit or saddle? Did I have the right trailer or truck? Did I need a trainer? Was I going to enough rodeos per weekend? Did I even have the right horse?
What used to be something I loved became heavy, forceful and an effort. My horse mirrored everything I was feeling and I couldn’t find the connection we once had. Definitely the fun and joy I felt wasn’t there either.
So one day, I quit, sold my horse and cut off the contribution and gift horses have always been to me. I justified and made the excuse I didn’t have the time for horses which seemed to distract me from the longing I had for my horse.
I have stopped judging myself for that choice because I didn’t know what I didn’t know then. I didn’t know I had made the competition and the significance of doing with horses more relevant than being with horses.
I have learned what is important is for me to be me, receive the contribution horses are to me, my body and gift the immense gratitude I have for horses back to them. I get to connect and learn from horses all the time now through offering Conscious Horse, Conscious Rider clinics and sessions and using the tools of Access Consciousness.
By Mary Case
So now I know that I am an X-Men. It changes so much in my world. No longer do I make myself wrong for the lists that I write to organize my days, for checking the burners twice before I leave the house, for having so many projects on the go at once, for the piles on my desk, for counting in my head the steps I take. I am an X-Men and I create in a very different way.
Lately I have been watching how I am an X-Men in action. What capacities do I have and how am I choosing to use them? And, where have I have been choosing them for a very long time, and never seeing or acknowledged them?
Is it not an X-Men capacity to be able to direct a rehearsal with over one hundred students and be aware of every corner of the room? Of the child who had a rough morning at home, of the one who is anxious about the person they happen to be sitting beside, about what each child requires for more ease?
Is it not an X-Men capacity to be able to be aware of the past, present and future of the music? The composer as he or she sat at the desk and the notes came to life, of the future audience, of the present space and everything in it, or the audience to come and the audiences who have heard this music before? And all this in a second of this time’s reality?
Is it not possible that choosing to swim, then bike, then run, and all the preparation involved for that, to race on the Canadian Team for a World Triathlon event required, just a “tiny” bit of what this reality would call A.D.H.D? How many of our Olympic athletes are X-Men in action?
I now call myself an “X-Men in action.” As I go through the days, I am choosing more and more to acknowledge my brilliance, not my wrongness. I choose my capacities as a platform for creation, not what I am “supposed” to do. I am willing to be judged for my choices. I know that I am not wrong, I am different.
I am grateful to Diva Diaz and Gary Douglas and Access Consciousness for their creation of X-Men classes across the globe and am delighted to be on their team, as an X-Men Intro Facilitator. What else is possible now?
Mary Case XIF ( Intro X-Men Facilitator)
Intro classes coming up have a look here and contact Mary here
Short video intro from Diva Diaz https://youtu.be/JYh3BEvftJ4
If there is anything you would like to ask about X-Men or becoming a XIF contact Diva, Cara and Jeni at: firstname.lastname@example.org
I was asked to write a small piece on my journey to becoming the Creative Producer for Access X-Men, a very simple request right?
NOPE!!! Not for me! Haha ....you see I am an X-Men.
Communicating in words that which is so exciting and honoring to me is never an easy task having ADD, ADHD, OCD, Dyslexia, and Autism all rolled into one. So you'll excuse me if the next bit makes no sense in the written word at all.
In fact what you could do is soften the ideas of the words and soak up the energy that is here for me when I even consider all the amazing facilitators that will be showing up to spread this amazing body of work that Access X-Men is.
First created by the founder of Access, Gary Douglas. Then further developed by one of the most elegant Access facilitators, Diva Diaz, to change the reality people with disabilities live with. These ideas, tools and energies, the Specialty of Access X-Men is, have the potential of creating such a different planet!
So here goes...
I have the distinct pleasure of being the Creative Producer for THE SPECIALTY OF MISFITS. To the seekers, the difference makers, mover and shakers on the planet that will NEVER fit in. I cannot wait to introduce each and every one of them who chooses to show up and take their unique difference out into the world with the courage to change it!
There ... I said it... did you get it?
Cara Wright , Creative Producer of Access X-Men